Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Mar 17 2010

Some things are just not cute

Posted by: Stacey at 8:40 pm
In: Ever Wonder Why,Humor,Life

In no particular order of importance:

– Going grocery shopping in too-tight pants complete with thigh-high black vinyl boots with 4-inch heels. Really. Are you shopping for bread and milk, or something else?

– Women who don’t even come close to having the abs for it wearing half shirts and low-rider jeans when they shouldn’t (like out in public). I really don’t need to explain why this isn’t cute.

– Putting flame stripes down the side of your Dodge Aries. Need I say more?

– Revving your engine at the red light. It’s esp. not cute if you have a sports car. Everyone knows your car has power, just as everyone knows that a man with muscles has strength. When you try to draw attention to either, it makes a person think that the old saying about how a souped up sports car or a man who obviously works out a lot is that man’s way of covering up other, um, ‘shortcomings’ just might be true …

– By the same token, pulling your jacked up truck with the ten foot high tires up right next to a car at a red light, ignoring the thick white line for your turn lane that you are supposed to wait behind. I know the trick is to be able to see in someone else’s car – particularly if it’s a female’s car – but c’mon: Have you not ever seen a woman in a v-neck and/or skirt before? 😡

– Talking on your cell phone in a movie theater. Doesn’t matter whether it’s during the previews or after. Can you not turn off your cell phone for two hours? Are you really that important?

– Double parking, effectively taking up two spaces – on purpose. Park out a ways where there are less cars instead if you’re worried about your car getting dinged.

– Having a car/vanload full of kids and speeding like you’re in the Indy 500. Whatever you are racing towards, it will wait.

– Repeatedly cursing in front of others during the course of a single conversation, esp. if the “others” include a woman. That goes double for using inappropriate crude terminology in mixed company. I’m old fashioned about this, I know. I just don’t dig it.

– Chewing your gum with your mouth open. Annoying!

Feel free to add to the list! I may do so myself.


(Video link)

Comments/TB (3)

Mar 10 2010

The adventures of the lady spider killer continue

Posted by: Stacey at 10:01 pm
In: Humor,Life

My encounters with bugs (more here) and spiders in and around my house are well-known amongst readers of my political blog. So it should come as no surprise that I have another one to report from last night.

I honestly don’t know what kind of spider it was that was in my house last night, but all I had to know was that it scared me silly and I sprayed the thing with so much spider spray I thought *I* might pass out from it. But the dang thing just kept moving. Don’t ever believe those “kill on contact” claims on the sides of the spray cans. Lies! Anyway, I was trying to “stun” the spider with the spray before I killed him with my shoe, but realized he was in an awkward spot for me to try and kill. He kept moving even with an inch of spider spray on his back but unfortunately he got underneath my recliner. So I had to take several deep breaths and move the recliner – all the while praying he didn’t jump up at me in one last gasp of glory.

In the end, he met his demise and I went to bed and rested comfortably, knowing the multi-legged scary thingie wasn’t prowling around downstairs. And fortunately most of the spider spray smell dissipated overnight. I came to the conclusion today that the spider was my version of Punxsutawney Phil, letting me know that spring is just around the corner — and to expect more creepy crawlies in the days and weeks ahead.

Gulp. 😐


(Video link)

Comments/TB (9)

Nov 24 2009

Is my dad turning into a metrosexual?

Posted by: Stacey at 9:37 pm
In: Humor

My dad has always been a no-nonsense kind of guy on most issues. And when it comes to hygiene, “Head and Shoulders” has always been his shampoo of choice. As for “body wash” – well, he’s been a life-long Dial bar soap user. He’s always pretty much been no-frills when it comes to that stuff, so when it came to Christmas time and buying him “smelly” gifts, it used to be that I could get him a Brut cologne gift set and a cute popcorn tin, or some Old Spice, a box of hankies and several pairs of tube socks and he’d be content and happy on Christmas day.

But here lately he’s taken to using the new Gillette shampoo/conditioner combo and also their bodywash, and claims he “can’t live without” these products anymore.

Um, excuse me? Is this the same Alpha male dad who frowns on the idea of guys getting their nails trimmed, who my mom has to plead with in the fall and winter to shave his beard, and who still gets $8 hair cuts at the local barber shop (yes, he did that even when he did have a full head of hair)?

Don’t get me wrong – my dad is not a slob, and when he dresses up, like for church, he looks darned good in his three piece suit and tie. Probably the best looking guy – young or old – in the whole place. He has always been a clean person. When I lived at home he would frequently take two showers a day; one in the morning and one at night when he got home. But he’s never been into the “modern” male frilly stuff like the specialized shampoos and body washes and deodorants.

Until now. I’m actually considering getting him one of those Gillette gift sets that has the all-in-one shampoo/conditioner, body wash, deodorant, and Fusion razor as one of his Christmas gifts. Never in my life did I think dad would go all “metrosexual” on me to where I’d have to buy something I’d considering getting as a stocking stuffer for a boyfriend.

Maybe he saw this commercial, and thought it would be cool to emulate some of his favorite NASCAR drivers?

Mom, of course, digs it. LOL.

He’s even a regular at Starbucks now, going on three years. My dad is one of the last people you’d expect to find in a Starbucks. Nothing against Starbucks, nor my dad, but he’s a bit of a “redneck” and you wouldn’t think he dug lattes and sitting on velvet armchairs and chatting with other customers about the weather.

But he does.

I love my dad dearly, but I swear he’s starting to freak me out! 😯

Comments/TB (2)

Oct 04 2009

The things people say

Posted by: Stacey at 10:06 pm
In: Humor,Looks

I was recently in a local Ulta make-up store looking for this absolutely wonderful concealer by Benefit Cosmetics that will hide just about anything, and was talking to one of the female employees who was working the floor making sure people could find what they were looking for. I found most of the items I came in there to purchase, but not the concealer. They had the line of make-up I was looking for, but the particular item in question was not to be found. I asked her about it, and she said the store only carried the “top 20” for that line of make-up, so I ended up getting one of their top 20 concealers.

But before I did, she started talking to me, as sales clerks in stores typically do, about another concealer from another make-up line that she thought was a really good choice. As she put it on her hand to rub it in, she talked to me a little bit about why she thought it was such a good concealer, and the middle of her speech, she said this:

“It’s really good for aging skin.”

I internally gasped. What? Why was she mentioning it was good for “aging skin” to me? I began to fret; did I look old to this gal, who was probably no more than 25? The comment was particularly bothersome because my make-up at that point in the day was freshly done – I had left the house after getting ready for my day, and went directly to the cosmetics store. Typically, that’s when your make-up looks its best, its most fresh.

“Good for aging skin”?

Cringe.

So the first thing I do is go home and look in the mirror, to see if I looked like I had “aging skin.” All I saw that stood out was the slight wrinkle most women get as they get older in the middle of their eyebrows. Sigh of relief. I decided right then and there that the people who had told me for the last 10 or so years that I “looked younger” than my age were more on the mark than the sales girl at Ulta.

At the same time, I also made a mental note to look into the Olay Regenerist anti-aging line … but not at Ulta 😉


Prince – U Got The Look by npba-multimedia

Comments/TB (1)

Apr 25 2009

Funny things

Posted by: Stacey at 12:07 am
In: Humor

— Every once in a while, I will get email notifications that someone has requested we be “friends” at MySpace, and every time I have gotten those emails, I have wondered “what the he**?” – I’ve never signed up for MySpace!

In fact, when you go to MySpace, there is a “Sister Toldjah” there but it is most definitely not me. Very strange page. Yes, I know I can be strange sometimes, but I assure you that page is not owned in any way by me.

Anyway, after the last notice I got, I decided to attempt to log in to MySpace to see if someone had signed me up without my knowledge. After having to have the password hint emailed to me, I realized that sometime in the (recent?) past, I actually did sign up for MySpace, because the password is a familiar one. I do not remember doing this! Must have been having a blonde moment when I signed up. I deleted the account. I have no time to maintain a MySpace page, what with having two blogs to maintain, three email accounts to keep up with, Facebook and Twitter accounts to update, and several message boards to check in and post at.

Time? What’s that?

— And speaking of pages with my online name but with which I am not affiliated in anyway, there is another Sister Toldjah blogger out there, although she spells it differently. She spells it “Sister Toldja.” The Wiki page for her is here. She (or whoever did that page) was nice enough to note that we are two different people (very different, which anyone who read my blog and then saw her Wiki description would figure out in short order!).

— In the not-so-funny, but more like infuriating department, I received a credit card bill today, opened it up and looked to find that the cc company had raised the danged limit on it. Not much, but they shouldn’t do crap like that without asking! Dammit, it’s hard enough to get the things paid down and off without cc companies giving you the “courtesy” of a limit increase. I’ve done really well paying down my debt over the last couple of years, thanks to the stimulus “rebate,” tax refunds, misc. bonuses, and a little extra I’ve saved every month. If y’all knew how much I had struggled with serious debt when I was in my early to mid 20s, you’d understand my belief that money really, really is the root of all evil! 👿

And speaking of, a great vid from Eurythmics front gal Annie Lennox – the song title? Money Can’t Buy It, of course:

I’ve just realized that in just about every post here I have added a video to it. I wonder if that sorta kind makes this a vlog? I dunno …

In any event, it’s kind of fitting and in tune with the book I’m currently working on. Music plays a big role in the life of one of the main characters. There is not a time where there is not some song playing in her head.

Comments Off on Funny things